I really liked this one, but no one else did apparently! The courts ruled that Fletcher could not be charged and tried with anything while he was still in office (which was an idiotic ruling, by the way).
Saturday, February 17, 2007
My second published cartoon
This is the second cartoon I had published. It appeared in the Lexington Herald-Leader back when Governor Ernie Fletcher was in trouble.
Carson Kressley is returning!
From the Louisville (KY) Courier-Journal:
Queen may grace Derby: Secret Service preparing for visit on first Saturday in May.
Queen may grace Derby: Secret Service preparing for visit on first Saturday in May.
Friday, February 16, 2007
A moment of mute, please.
From the Hollywood Reporter:
Hit the mute button for a moment of silence: The co-inventor of the TV remote has died. Robert Adler, who won an Emmy Award along with fellow engineer Eugene Polley for the device that made couch potatoship possible, died Thursday of heart failure at a Boise nursing home at 93, Zenith Electronics Corp. said Friday. In his six-decade career with Zenith, Adler was a prolific inventor, earning more than 180 U.S. patents. He was best known for his 1956 Zenith Space Command remote control, which helped make TV a truly sedentary pastime.
When you think about, this explains a lot about hit television shows in the 1960s. Before the late sixties, remote controls were not common. Therefore, folks had to get up off the couch to change channels, which was just waaaayyy to much work. Thus, whatever channel was on, stayed on. Hence you have #1 shows like The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction.
When the remotes became more common, viewers had the convenience of changing channels at any time. Of course, there were only three or four channels from which to choose, but it was still an improvement for the sedentary.
Now we're in 2007, where several hundred cable channels are common. The instruction manuals for smart remotes are are thick as Jackie Collins' last book, and it takes seven steps just to change channels.
With all that progress, how many times do you hear that plaintive cry "There's nothing on!"
Hit the mute button for a moment of silence: The co-inventor of the TV remote has died. Robert Adler, who won an Emmy Award along with fellow engineer Eugene Polley for the device that made couch potatoship possible, died Thursday of heart failure at a Boise nursing home at 93, Zenith Electronics Corp. said Friday. In his six-decade career with Zenith, Adler was a prolific inventor, earning more than 180 U.S. patents. He was best known for his 1956 Zenith Space Command remote control, which helped make TV a truly sedentary pastime.
When you think about, this explains a lot about hit television shows in the 1960s. Before the late sixties, remote controls were not common. Therefore, folks had to get up off the couch to change channels, which was just waaaayyy to much work. Thus, whatever channel was on, stayed on. Hence you have #1 shows like The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction.
When the remotes became more common, viewers had the convenience of changing channels at any time. Of course, there were only three or four channels from which to choose, but it was still an improvement for the sedentary.
Now we're in 2007, where several hundred cable channels are common. The instruction manuals for smart remotes are are thick as Jackie Collins' last book, and it takes seven steps just to change channels.
With all that progress, how many times do you hear that plaintive cry "There's nothing on!"
Not my kid!
Gay, gay, gay--that's all the gossip columns talk about these days. Who is? Who isn't? For all you parents out there, here are a few telltale signs. Your son might be gay IF:
He wants to paint his bedroom puce.
He remembers the name of Steven's lover on Dynasty.
He refuses to wear anything polyester.
You catch little Bobby trying on his mother's dresses and he looks better in them than she does.
He plucks anything other than guitar strings.
His clown costume for Halloween is the outfit worn by Judy Gar1and in A Star is Born.
He owns all of Madonna's albums and all of Madonna's outfits.
He spends so much time in the tanning beds that his complexion resembles something by Gucci.
He is convinced the Pulitzer people have blackballed Danielle Steele.
He goes into a depressive funk each year after Susan Lucci loses the Daytime Emmy.
He knows about Janice Van Meter.
He refuses to wear a T-shirt claiming that anything "rules."
The milk crates in his college dorm room have been sponge painted.
He serves Big Macs on Noritaki.
He knows that Lalique and Baccarat are not European capitols.
His male friends revere musical theater and sport hair colors that do not exist in nature.
He has a pattern registered and he is not getting married.
He presses and starches his T-shirts.
He has ever created anything using Oasis foam...
He makes Christopher Lowell look butch.
His “girlfriend” wears flannel and has sideburns.
He sets the VCR to record HGTV.
He uses his newspaper delivery money for a subscription to Elle.
His biceps are bigger than his waistline.
He knows about "Sex on the Beach" and has never been near the ocean.
His wrist is so limp he wears a splint to sign checks.
He doesn't own a single wire hanger.
None of the chenille in his home is a bathrobe.
He called the station to complain when the National Weather Service interrupted Reba.
He says men will never be allowed to marry because the fat girls will have no one to dance with at the reception.
He owns three different pairs of construction boots and he's never built anything in his life.
So there you have it. Not all the telltale signs, to be sure, but enough so that you parents out there will not be blindsided when the love of little Johnny's life turns out to have a beard and thinning hair and a mortgage.
He wants to paint his bedroom puce.
He remembers the name of Steven's lover on Dynasty.
He refuses to wear anything polyester.
You catch little Bobby trying on his mother's dresses and he looks better in them than she does.
He plucks anything other than guitar strings.
His clown costume for Halloween is the outfit worn by Judy Gar1and in A Star is Born.
He owns all of Madonna's albums and all of Madonna's outfits.
He spends so much time in the tanning beds that his complexion resembles something by Gucci.
He is convinced the Pulitzer people have blackballed Danielle Steele.
He goes into a depressive funk each year after Susan Lucci loses the Daytime Emmy.
He knows about Janice Van Meter.
He refuses to wear a T-shirt claiming that anything "rules."
The milk crates in his college dorm room have been sponge painted.
He serves Big Macs on Noritaki.
He knows that Lalique and Baccarat are not European capitols.
His male friends revere musical theater and sport hair colors that do not exist in nature.
He has a pattern registered and he is not getting married.
He presses and starches his T-shirts.
He has ever created anything using Oasis foam...
He makes Christopher Lowell look butch.
His “girlfriend” wears flannel and has sideburns.
He sets the VCR to record HGTV.
He uses his newspaper delivery money for a subscription to Elle.
His biceps are bigger than his waistline.
He knows about "Sex on the Beach" and has never been near the ocean.
His wrist is so limp he wears a splint to sign checks.
He doesn't own a single wire hanger.
None of the chenille in his home is a bathrobe.
He called the station to complain when the National Weather Service interrupted Reba.
He says men will never be allowed to marry because the fat girls will have no one to dance with at the reception.
He owns three different pairs of construction boots and he's never built anything in his life.
So there you have it. Not all the telltale signs, to be sure, but enough so that you parents out there will not be blindsided when the love of little Johnny's life turns out to have a beard and thinning hair and a mortgage.
Winter Wonderland
Why is it the only time we get any snow is when the weathermen DON'T predict it?
OH, MY GOD! A FREAKING BLIZZARD IS COMING!!! SUPER TRIPLER DOPPLER RADAR INDICATES WIDESPREAD ICEBALLS AND FLAMING DEBRIS DESCENDING ON THE METRO AREA AT 6:13 PM!!! SEEK SHELTER!!! SIGN YOUR WILL!!! BUY MILK AND BREAD!!! WE'LL BE BROADCASTING WITHOUT INTERRUPTION FOR THE NEXT 11 HOURS UNTIL WILL CAN CONFIRM THAT THE FIRST SNOWFLAKE HAS FALLEN!!! AAAIIIIIGGGHHHH!!!!
We've been falling for this nonsense for thirty years. Weatherfolk, give it a rest. Tell us the high and lows, and whether or not the sun might shine tomorrow. Okay, there's a chance of snow? Tell us that. But then, SHUT UP! We don't need you in-depth analysis of the computer models, or time-lapse data from the topographic map you built our of old Bic pens: just tell what the weather was, is, and may yet be. Then get us back to the news.
Back in the nascent days of today's weather obsession, the local weatherman stood in front of and easel with a magic marker and drew picture of suns and clouds and cold fronts. Today, the Top Story on the evening news is usually a snowfall in, like, Iowa--but it MIGHT make it to Kentucky, you never know, we just want to be the FIRST to warn you about it. This warning, of course, was delivered earlier in the afternoon when the broke into Days of Our Lives for twenty minutes to tell us that they had important weather news coming up at five.
Today, between the swirling animations, multiple hyper-sensitive radars, computer projections, and the weather anchors' combined 52 years of forecasting experience (not to mention being "approved by the American Meteorological Society"), these guys still cannot get even CLOSE to predicting Kentuckiana weather. Well, at least on the right day (as an aside, why is it called Kentuckiana? Indyucky seems more appropriate).
Gotta go--Local on the Eights is on.
OH, MY GOD! A FREAKING BLIZZARD IS COMING!!! SUPER TRIPLER DOPPLER RADAR INDICATES WIDESPREAD ICEBALLS AND FLAMING DEBRIS DESCENDING ON THE METRO AREA AT 6:13 PM!!! SEEK SHELTER!!! SIGN YOUR WILL!!! BUY MILK AND BREAD!!! WE'LL BE BROADCASTING WITHOUT INTERRUPTION FOR THE NEXT 11 HOURS UNTIL WILL CAN CONFIRM THAT THE FIRST SNOWFLAKE HAS FALLEN!!! AAAIIIIIGGGHHHH!!!!
We've been falling for this nonsense for thirty years. Weatherfolk, give it a rest. Tell us the high and lows, and whether or not the sun might shine tomorrow. Okay, there's a chance of snow? Tell us that. But then, SHUT UP! We don't need you in-depth analysis of the computer models, or time-lapse data from the topographic map you built our of old Bic pens: just tell what the weather was, is, and may yet be. Then get us back to the news.
Back in the nascent days of today's weather obsession, the local weatherman stood in front of and easel with a magic marker and drew picture of suns and clouds and cold fronts. Today, the Top Story on the evening news is usually a snowfall in, like, Iowa--but it MIGHT make it to Kentucky, you never know, we just want to be the FIRST to warn you about it. This warning, of course, was delivered earlier in the afternoon when the broke into Days of Our Lives for twenty minutes to tell us that they had important weather news coming up at five.
Today, between the swirling animations, multiple hyper-sensitive radars, computer projections, and the weather anchors' combined 52 years of forecasting experience (not to mention being "approved by the American Meteorological Society"), these guys still cannot get even CLOSE to predicting Kentuckiana weather. Well, at least on the right day (as an aside, why is it called Kentuckiana? Indyucky seems more appropriate).
Gotta go--Local on the Eights is on.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Good movie to recommend
Here' s a really cute movie for you to Netflix next week (you do have Netflix, don't you?): Kinky Boots. It's from the folks who brought you Calendar Girls, and it's a fun flick. It's not perfect: there are a couple of dragging sections, and it needed a little more of that unique British humor, but it's good enough that I'll be buying it.
Joel Edgerton (the young Owen Lars in the Star Wars prequels) is really good, and brings to mind a young Albert Finney. The standout, however, is Chiwetel Ejiofor (pronounced Chew-it-all Edge-If-For) who is just amazing as a character who is so removed from his real-life persona. He's been in a few other movies, and he deserves to be a BIG star. He is really outstanding in this film, and reminds me of Tim Curry in Rocky Horror in the way he uses his voice in this film. Stunning performance!
Joel Edgerton (the young Owen Lars in the Star Wars prequels) is really good, and brings to mind a young Albert Finney. The standout, however, is Chiwetel Ejiofor (pronounced Chew-it-all Edge-If-For) who is just amazing as a character who is so removed from his real-life persona. He's been in a few other movies, and he deserves to be a BIG star. He is really outstanding in this film, and reminds me of Tim Curry in Rocky Horror in the way he uses his voice in this film. Stunning performance!
Second verse, same as the first . . .
Despite his own experts who say there is no link between Iran and the violence in Iraq, George W. told us on Wednesday that he "just knows" there is a connection. Hmmmm.
He told us in the buildup to war that despite evidence to the contrary (that he and his administration hid) he "just knew" there was a connection between Iraq and 9/11.
Folks, those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. When are we going to learn. This is a man who managed to screw up his own businesses, and yet we thought he could run the country?
On that score, why are the politicians, pundits, and reporters repeatedly bemoaning Barack Obama's "lack of foreign policy experience." Where was their concern when George W. was running for office? He had NO experience at ANYTHING on the national level.
Aargh!
He told us in the buildup to war that despite evidence to the contrary (that he and his administration hid) he "just knew" there was a connection between Iraq and 9/11.
Folks, those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. When are we going to learn. This is a man who managed to screw up his own businesses, and yet we thought he could run the country?
On that score, why are the politicians, pundits, and reporters repeatedly bemoaning Barack Obama's "lack of foreign policy experience." Where was their concern when George W. was running for office? He had NO experience at ANYTHING on the national level.
Aargh!
Winning the baby lottery
I've decided to throw my hat in the ring for the upcoming election. No, not the 2008 Presidential race, but the sure-to-be-Supreme-Court-assisted contest to decide the paternity of Dannielynn Smith.
I never met Ms. Smith before her tragic and untimely death. I am even less heterosexual than Rev. Ted Haggard. Despite these two shortcomings, I feel I possess the same overriding quality that several of Dannielynn's other potential baby-daddies display: soul-numbing, unrelenting greed.
In my favor, I am not a bloodsucking Svengali who "loved" her but refused her the help she clearly needed; I'm not old enough to be her grandfather, like Zsa Zsa's husband; and I'm not old enough to be her great-grandfather, like her own late husband.
Add in the photographer, the bodyguard, and candidates yet to declare, and you realize this poor woman was allegedly having more sack time than ten pounds of potatoes! No wonder she was always so out of it: Girl was exhausted!
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it (at least until I can think of a better way to out-schmuck the schmucks trying to get their hands on that $450 million).
I never met Ms. Smith before her tragic and untimely death. I am even less heterosexual than Rev. Ted Haggard. Despite these two shortcomings, I feel I possess the same overriding quality that several of Dannielynn's other potential baby-daddies display: soul-numbing, unrelenting greed.
In my favor, I am not a bloodsucking Svengali who "loved" her but refused her the help she clearly needed; I'm not old enough to be her grandfather, like Zsa Zsa's husband; and I'm not old enough to be her great-grandfather, like her own late husband.
Add in the photographer, the bodyguard, and candidates yet to declare, and you realize this poor woman was allegedly having more sack time than ten pounds of potatoes! No wonder she was always so out of it: Girl was exhausted!
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it (at least until I can think of a better way to out-schmuck the schmucks trying to get their hands on that $450 million).
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